Boyfriend
by teacupballerina
Summary: One night when Blossom is getting ready for some well-deserved fun, someone comes knocking on her door. They hadn't counted on her lover being a jealous, superpowered maniac. Summary bad but story is good! I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IF YOU REVIEW!


Author's note: YAY MY FIRST STORY! I HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT!!!

* * *

Once upon a time in Townsville there lived a girl who was named Blossom. She was a super heroine in a crime-fighting team she shared with her sisters. She was the hottest girl in Townsville. Oh and the smartest too. She was also dating the hottest guy in Townsville. He shared her hair color.

"Hey Blossom, wait up! Not all of us can run like you!" Dexter called from behind her in a thick accent. Dexter was really cute. He used to be her boyfriend before her new one came along.

"No Dexter, you're just fat and weak from staying in your lab all day. Going outside and finding a girlfriend instead of chasing me around would be a good idea. For a man of science and one not even of this reality you sure are dumb."

Dexter ran off in tears, sniveling. When he got home he cradled his inventions one by one and then tried to make a girlfriend that looked like Blossom but he couldn't because he just fails that hard. Also because nothing could ever come close to something as perfect as Blossom.

Blossom thought about her boyfriend as she collected her books from her locker. He was strong, intelligent…his eyes were a deep red. When he spoke to her, she was on fire. She loved him. He loved her. End of story. They had been enemies when she was a kid but…things change. She had changed.

She rushed out of her school and into the afternoon sky, leaving Bubbles and Buttercup, her sisters, behind. They served no purpose, so screw them. They were so ugly compared to her, despite them looking exactly like her with the exception of hair and eye color.

Suddenly an alarm rang throughout the city. The bank was being robbed! Blossom rushed to the scene, her red hair flowing freely behind her. People stared as she flew past with a deafening sonic boom. She was so pretty, even if she was making them go deaf.

"Stop evildoer!" She yelled, bursting into the bank. The culprit was none other than Mojo Jojo! Blossom blushed. She'd had a crush on Mojo ever since she was little. Despite all he'd put her through, she still kind of liked him. He was so cuddly like a stuffed animal. And he was the only person who lived in Townsville who had half a brain, besides Blossom's dad and Ms. Bellum. And Blossom herself of course.

But he was a villain and besides he obviously liked going to jail and getting assraped so Blossom swooped him up and flew him to jail.

On her way home from jailing Mojo, Blossom noticed a cloud that looked like a book.

Later that evening Blossom was in the guest room in secret having crept away from her sisters, who were sleeping. The Professor slept like a rock so she didn't have to worry about him. Her boyfriend was in the bedroom with her.

"You ready?" He asked her tenderly, staring deep into her eyes.

"For the last time, yes!"

They started to make out passionately, naked under the covers, until the doorbell rang. Blossom's boyfriend growled and glided from the bedroom. Blossom heard the loud, girlish scream of a tough guy who thought he was gonna get lucky but instead met a gruesome fate.

Her boyfriend came back into the guestroom covered in blood, so Blossom told him to shower and he did.

He got clean and came back into the bedroom, slinking under the covers and crawling on top of his prize where he belonged.

"Who was that?"

"A foolish boy named Brick."

"Oh, Aku…"

Then they had sex and EVERY FANGIRL EXCEPT FOR ME RAGED.

* * *

Okay, in case you don't know, this isn't my first story, yes that is Aku from Samurai Jack, and yes, I did in fact write this bad on purpose. And even though it is the worst thing that I have ever crapped out onto a word processor, it is better than 90% of the stories in this section. Learn to actually write, have reasons for a pairing, have a plot, have dynamic, have sense. Lest you want your story to end up as bad as mine.

This is a parody. It was meant to be funny, but it might not be because I wrote this in like five seconds when I was tired. So meh.


End file.
